Thanks!

So I've been feeling a Depression coming on the past few months slowly. Nothing major just a dip in energy and general ennui. Well, I had an emotional crash this weekend. As a trained counselor I have to know when it's time to throw in the towel and bring in reinforcements. I also don't believe in hiding my problems as if they are something to be ashamed of. If I had diabetes I'd complain to you guys when things were bad so why not this disease that I've been battling for my entire adult life.

I think it's time to find a new counselor. For the past 10 years I've seen the same counselor as needed. I just call her up when I need a tune up but I think it's time for a change. We've gotten to the point in our relationship where I know exactly what she is going to say and she really has used up her resources on me. I need some fresh eyes and ears. I'm also at the point where I think I need to talk to my psychiatrist about my meds and whether or not they are doing all that they should be doing.

This blog has been so good for me and helping me to stay connected to the world. One of the first things I normally do in depression is isolate. My blog has really helped me to stay a part of the world and even when I feel like burying my head in the sand I have found encouragement from your kind words.

I want to thank the two lovely bloggers Cherry Tart Design and Tile Me Beautiful for giving me the Lovely Blog Award above this week.

Here are the rules for the award:

Here are the rules to receiving this award...
1. Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award, and his or her blog link.
2. Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you’ve newly discovered.
3. Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

Please forgive me if I don't have energy to contact 15 people today. But please check out the two lovely bloggers who passed it my way, they really are some cute and creative blogs that I'll be adding to my daily rotation.

Handmade Father's Day

I will not lie to you, buying handmade for men is always harder than women but it definitely can be done. The past few years I've gotten my Dad some manly artwork and other miscellaneous items from Etsy. I've got some fun ideas for you today if you want to get your Dad a personal handmade Father's Day to let him know you care.

There are all kinds of handmade cards available that will allow you to avoid the Hallmark generic sentiments. The above card is by Urban Impressions and is simple yet lovely.














My Dad is a big history buff and I often end up getting him a book if I don't plan ahead. Well, this copper bookmark by KaleidaEclectics would make a great personal touch if placed inside a book about his favorite obsession.





















The most traditional of all Father's Day gifts is the lowly tie. My Dad being a farmer pretty much ruled out this easy out for my Dad but I often get them for my Uncle Jack. TieOneOn has hundreds of silk ties to choose from in every shade and pattern you can image. I love the richness of this green silk. You can personalize the tie by adding a custom label with your own message.








My Dad also likes all kinds of toys and gadgets. This handmade Laminated Yo Yo by CREATIVE ADDICTIONS was made with a mix of gorgeous woods. She also has some wood pens that would make a great gift for Dad.








Fellow St. Louisian A Breath Of French Air makes some manly hunks of soap with beer as the base. They would make a great gift when wrapped up with this wooden soap deck. It is functional as well as lovely as it will keep your soap dry and fresh making it last much longer.

"The Dying Woman in Room 401"

I had a post planned for the day but I just don't have time to get it all in place today. It's getting super busy at work so my posts are going to be getting shorter for the next few months I'm afraid. I want to share a story by By Marc Gellman that was in Newsweek years ago but that I have saved and reread periodically. I didn't paste all of it but the beginning is about how the writer is a rabbi whose best friend is a priest that is going to the hospital to minister to a woman dying of breast cancer. I really love the message of this story and I think of it often. I promise it's not a downer. You will see how the Happy Bluebird scarf relates after you read it

The Spiritual State: The Dying Woman in Room

The woman in room 402 was alone and sitting on the edge of her bed staring blankly out the window as if in a daze. Tommy said hello and I hung out by the door. I was thinking, "Mushroom, extra cheese, onions ..." OK, I admit it: I need work on the compassion side, but as I said before, it was Saturday night.

Tommy quietly and respectfully sat down on a chair next to the woman, held her hands gently in his hands, and said, just like this, "Dear, you are going to die, but you have nothing to fear because God is going to hold your soul in his hands like a little bird."

I was stunned. I had never seen such courageous honesty in talking to a dying person. My personal technique up to that evening watching Tommy, was to breeze into the room, smile and say, "Hey how ya doin? You look great! Well I have to be going now." Tommy just went straight into the truth without hesitation and without fear. It took my breath away.

Then Tommy asked her, "Dear, are you still afraid?" She was crying her eyes out and could barely blurt out the words, "Yes, Father, I am afraid now." Then Tommy repeated his healing spiel complete with the reference to God and the little bird (which he pantomimed for her by cupping his hands to show her just exactly how God was going to hold her soul in his hands like a little bird). Then Tommy asked her again if she was still afraid and all she could do was nod her head and breathlessly say, "Yes, I am still afraid." Tommy then asked her, "Why are you still afraid dear? Why are you afraid?"

The woman in room 402 then recovered enough composure to answer my best friend. She sobbed, "I am afraid because I just came into this hospital for a hernia operation! What are you talking about? Why am I going to die? "

Tommy, without missing a beat, rose and said to her, "Well then, you are not going to die!"
I was on the floor laughing so hard I thought I might die, repeating over and over, "Like a little bird ... like a little bird."
Tommy came over to me and said in an urgent voice, "Marc, I think we have to leave now."

The woman was pressing the call button like it was a detonator; Tommy pulled me out of the room by my feet. We ran down the hall outracing the security guys; we laid rubber screeching out of the parking lot. Over several beers and no pizza, Tommy looked at me quizzically and said these words which have sustained me personally through many screw-ups. I offer Tommy's words now to everyone everywhere who has done the best job they can, but even so it all just went to hell for some reasons they should have known and for some reasons they could not have known....

Tommy said, "Maybe the dying woman was in room 502."

Fiber Artist Mandy Greer

I was just over in the campus bookstore getting my $10 copy of Microsoft 2007, one of the perks of working on a college campus, when I saw the latest edition of Fiber Arts Magazine with the breathtaking cover seen above. I literally stopped in my tracks and picked it up immediately. I have never really ventured to call my self an artist, I'm a crafter making utilitarian creations with whatever flair I can come up with. Mandy Greer is a true fiber artist in the fullest sense of the word. She uses crochet, knitting, and sewing to create sculptures and create epic visions. Her current installation is called Dare alla Luce and can currently be seen at The Museum of Contemporary Craft.

She collaborated with dancer and choreographer Haruko Nishimura to create a multimedia performance and film that has been shown in Seattle. The Silvering Past focuses on the Slug Princess seen above. She takes myths or stories and artistically interprets them with her work. The blue is a poster for her latest installation and is without a doubt one of my favorite shots of fiber art I've ever seen.



Here is how Suzanne Beal, the magazine writer, summed up her work, "This kind of transformative touch marks Greer as a rare artist who aims for material immortality through the recycling of myth and meaning. A prolific alchemist, she fervently strives to make the worthless, worthy, and the old, new." What a beautiful sentiment to try to live.

Kawaii?

For those of you who don't know what Kawaii means, it's not an island in Hawaii, it means cuteness in Japanese. There are lots of handmade sellers who specialize in Kawaii and all things whimsical and cute. Before I get to them let me explain what got me thinking about Kawaii to begin with. Kate turned 7 this week and had a puppy themed party. She and her friends all painted little puppy dogs at the party. I painted the little kitty seen above in her new home in between two eerie and beautiful prints by 18-year-old Madelaine.

I got a little crazy with the colors which inspired a few of the other girls to let loose but others were stuck in a literal mindset and painted grey spots on their black dogs. They had fun teasing me and one girl came over when I wasn't looking and painted my heart black. She said it was because I think dark thoughts. What does a 7 year old know about dark thoughts is what I want to know. It was interesting that some of the girls could let their imagination go while others were so locked in on not making any mistakes that they didn't really enjoy it.

I don't know about you but I think my little kitty has a very Kawaii look to it. A few bloggers that I read are specialists in all things cute and whimsical. Strawberry Anarchy from Scotland made this adorable pendant or cell phone charm. Her blog always makes me smile with her bright colors and cute pictures from around the world.





Meekiyua create these wonderful little paper dolls and she also has lovely prints as well. I love this set depicting a headache and aspirin. As you can see Kawaii isn't just for little girls but for anyone who loves a touch of whimsy in their lives.

My Handmade Wedding Part 2

So when I left off yesterday Mike and I had just gotten married. That evening was the main event. My Uncle Jack, Mom, and I spent countless hours getting ready for it and the entire day before getting it set up. We chose to have the reception at an Eagles's Lodge since it was a completely blank slate that we could transform into a medieval castle. There were blank walls that we hung several rolls of flagstone patterned gossamer like this that they use to decorate for proms. We hung over 30 banners from the ceiling and walls that we handmade from green and purple felt, ribbon and tassels. My Uncle Jack made the huge hanging banners above that were behind the head table. They were the actual George and Lenox family crests that we found on-line. He used an overhead projector and laid it out and drew it out to scale and cut out the pieces. I have no idea how long it took him and his friend but I literally gasped when he unrolled them to show me.

My florist had columns that he painted to look like flagstone. We put them up around the cake and around the head table. He also helped us with the centerpieces. We laid out glass and I handpainted little votive cups in a marbleized pattern and those were all lit up. The centerpieces were an urn looking bowl with grapes and some wheat and flowers that we had on each long table. There were other large candles all over the place and some little lights with no florescents on to set the medieval tone. Yes I am drinking a Bud Light in this snapshot, not from my medieval goblet. All class I know.

My caterer got into the theme and we had a huge fruit and cheese display with a water feature. My favors were little placecard frames of castles and scrolls. I printed out my favorite John Donne (1572–1631) love poems and put those in the frames at each setting. I also made programs from parchment paper and rolled them up like a scroll that we passed out as people came in.

A good friend of the family sewed the Wench's costumes. We had one of my younger cousins and some neighbor girls dress up and help serve and welcome people. We pieced together jester costumes for several of my younger cousins who juggled and hammed it up. I hired a harpist from the local Ren Fest and she came in costume and played while we ate. We had a DJ for the dance afterwards. We invited people to come in costume and a large group of Mike's former students came in some wild outfits that they had put together.


One of our friends made Mike's majestic cape. He wore it during the Handfasting ceremony we did. Since most of the people had not been at the wedding I wanted to have some sort of ceremony that they would be a part of. I used a ritual I found on-line and had my brother who dressed up in his kilt perform. She also made herself a costume and since she reads tarot cards she did readings for people throughout the evening which was a lot of fun.

















It took us some time to find someone willing to make the castle cake I had envisioned. Mom called people all over my little hometown and one place said they would try but were going to charge an outrageous amount. She finally called this sweet older lady who said she loved challenges. She worked out of her house and came up with the design by covering pieces of foam board with the icing and created a structure that way. She also made the guitar groom's cake and charged us under $200 for the whole deal. My Mom borrowed the knights from a shop in town that used them as decorations.

My sister Angie volunteered to create a kid's area. We had a cardboard castle for them to get inside and color with puppets that they could perform shows with that we got at Oriental Trading. We had medieval coloring books for them to play with. The girls could use ribbon and lace to create a magic wand and the boys had blow up swords. I couldn't find a good picture of the play area in action but there was this shot of Angie cleaning up from the chaos at the end of the night.

All in all a good time was had by all which was my goal. I wanted it to be an event and something unlike any other wedding my guests had likely ever attended. Thanks for indulging me as I reminisced about the big day.

My Handmade Wedding Part 1

Wedding season is almost upon us and I like 90% of the world have an anniversary in June. It will be our 5 year on June 19. In some ways it feels like hardly any time has passed but when I look at the pictures and see how young all the kids look it makes me realize how important 5 years can be. When I got married I was not the raging handmade addict you see today. But we were working on a relatively conservative budget to create the sweeping vision I had for the day so there was a lot of handmade details I would love to share.

It was a two part celebration so I will break it up that way as well. We had a small ceremony with just our closest family and friends at the historical Victorian home near my hometown called The Dent House. The owners also sell high end antiques and occasionally allow special events there. My Mom knew the owners and was able to get us in and I couldn't have been happier since it was already so elegantly decorated that we needed to waste none of our budget on decorating there.

Most of the handmade elements and budget was in the huge reception we had later that evening. We had a Renaissance themed reception which was like a mini Ren Fest, which I will describe in detail tomorrow. But I added as many personal touches into the ceremony as possible.

I should say that the biggest chunk of our budget besides food was spent on our photographer. Kim the true artist from Collins Photography was absolutely the most amazing photographer that Rolla had to offer. As I was just perusing her portfolio of weddings there is a shot of Mike and his twin brother in there. We could have gotten a more traditional photographer for much less but I was so happy with her artistic and creative shots that it was well worth it. I wanted to be able to look back at my pics without thinking how fat I looked and she got shots that are so aesthetically pleasing that I don't even think about it. She did 90% of them in black and white and so any of the color shots you see were taking by someone else.
This picture shows a very nervous Mike sitting next to my now passed Nana. It was just about 20 minutes before the ceremony started. I was still upstairs getting myself together. I worked pretty closely with the florist to create a unique bouquet and hair pieces for all the girls. They were all done in a round wreath like way with lots of wheat and a few purple flowers. I told him I wanted my bouquet to have the highest fiber count he had ever arranged, with only non-scented flowers to keep my allergies at bay. I went in as soon as the flowers came in and did a sniff test to make sure there was nothing that would cause me to sneeze in the middle of my ceremony. When I was scanning pictures last night I didn't get any good ones of the flowers but I promise they were gorgeous. I got a little carried away scanning pictures from the reception since that was really my baby so there will be lots to see tomorrow.

My "wedding planner" and main source for creative input was my Uncle Jack. He is my mother's only sibling, a "bachelor" and like a second Dad to me. He once owned a flower shop years ago that burned to the ground in the 80's. I still have very fond memories of afternoons in the flower shop watching him in his true element. I think that was when he was most happy and the tragedy was that he didn't have the will to start from scratch to rebuild.

Jack also has a lovely voice and sings at funerals all the time as he now runs a funeral home. He and Mike were in charge of the music for the ceremony. Mike recorded the wedding march on his classical guitar that we used as I came down the spiral staircase with my Dad. He also recorded the Beatles song In My Life and Jack sang it live which you can see in the picture above to the left. There wasn't a dry eye in the house after the song was over.

One of my Mom's cousins is a Lutheran minister and she did the ceremony for us. It was personal and sweet just like I wanted. I had several of my closest friends do readings of poems that I had picked out. One of them was this passage from The Prophet that I think pretty well encapsulates Mike and my marriage and love:

Love one another, but make not a bond of love;
Let it rather be a moving sea between
the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread
but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous,
but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone
though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts,
but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together;
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress
grow not in each other's shadow.
 Kahil Gibran, The Prophet