A Few More Days Of Hell

So I'm starting to adapt to my life as a temporary invalid. (Above is my foot in happier times this past summer on the farm.) My couch is my true domain for the time being. Mike is actually being a surprisingly good nurse. He is not the most patient man under most conditions but he is doing whatever needs to be done to get us through this situation. I am trying to stay positive but I had my first major meltdown this afternoon. I'd had a particularly rough bathroom trip, (I will spare you all the gory details). I lost it and started crying from the pain and the complete loss of dignity. Mike held my hand and comforted me for almost an hour.

I've only taken a few Vicodin today, only when I really needed them. I'm not at all crazy about how they make me feel so I really don't foresee a problem with getting off of them. It's like I'm fighting my way through cotton for the first few hours after I take one now. I can't form a coherent thought and I'm just in slow motion. It doesn't really put me to sleep either just a kind of hazy place. It does dull the pain, I just wish it didn't do the same to my brain.

We go to the orthopedic doctor tomorrow at 1 pm. Mike is going into work for the fist few hours and will then come home. I'm seriously dreading the transport process as much as what he might have to say to me. I have terrible upper body strength and pulling myself up and/or using crutches right now seems like an impossibility. Once I have a real cast on the ankle I'm hoping I will have more stability and confidence. Right now it has a splint and ace bandages wrapped around it. If I go down or put any accidental weight on it I could do some more damage. I do think the swelling has gone down so I hope he'll be able to tell me if I need surgery or not.

I have a friend who is a surgical nurse and she told me to try to avoid surgery if at all possible. I certainly will but if he says it is the only way for it to heal properly that is what I will have to do. If he seems at all uncertain I will probably go for a second opinion. I've had at least 4 people tell me the name of a good ortho Dr. so we shall see.

Some friends came over tonight and we watched the game and ate pizza. It was nice to have a bit of normalcy. She brought me a gift basket complete with yarn and stationary. This super sweet couple is planning their September wedding and so I offered to do some research for her on vendors and other wedding ideas. It will be something productive to do with my laptop as I recover. As I get a clearer head I will hopefully find some other ways to spend the weeks I will be off work doing something for the business. We shall see...